A Child’s Heart

by Debi on March 9, 2013

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The look in a newborn’s eyes when he sees his mother for the first time – priceless. Studying her face – he revels in the sound of her voice. Delivered from creation into earthly arms, a newborn baby captures a mother’s heart, by design. They study us, these little ones do. Watching our every move, memorizing our lives.

Our little ones are enthralled by us and this dynamic requires around the clock relating. For a young mom, being followed by a talkative toddler and interrogated by a preschooler, is a daily routine. No wonder we grow to relish the sound of silence and find nap time divine!

But somewhere between non-stop talking and following us everywhere our children change in how they relate to us. We busy ourselves with life’s duties without realizing they’re not talking to us, staring at us, following us everywhere. Is something wrong?

{Continued at Mom Heart … follow me there!}

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Valentine’s Day is a big deal in our culture.

What’s a couple on a budget with a house full of children to do?

A few years ago I announced to the kids their Dad and I were having a Valentine’s dinner at home and asked for their help. They were all in and the night was a huge success.

If you want a romantic Valentine’s dinner but do not want to fight the crowds and pay a babysitter:

I have 5 tips on how to bring the romance home on this holiday when everyone else goes out.

I’m writing at Mom Heart today – follow me there for the rest of the story.

I would love to hear your Valentine’s Day ideas too!

 

 

 

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I Know the Plans …

by Debi on January 25, 2013

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 Christmas decorations are packed away, winter has settled in and now – it’s time to plan. I’m free to release the reservoir of thoughts I have for the coming year. Welcoming abstract ideals into my concrete world brings new life to my daily living – especially this time of year.

‘Redemption’ is the word that keeps coming to my heart.

I’m writing about redemption and the new year  before us at Sally Clarkson’s Mom Heart’s blog today. Please join me there.

At Mom Heart a group of moms – just like us – write in  potpourri fashion on issues that touch the heart of God and effect a mother’s life every day. I find life there and savor each post. Please take a moment to visit – I’m sure you will too.

We need daily encouragement at home. Pass this on to someone who needs to know they’re not alone. Let’s remind one another the Lord has plans for us, above and beyond what we hope or dream! {Ephesians 3:20}

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A Day of Redemption

by Debi on January 22, 2013

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Everything changed when this Samaritan woman met her Savior.

 One private encounter  – and this nameless woman took her place in eternity.

Her past met her future, in a moment. I get her. She was forever changed and centuries later, her words of freedom echo in the hearts of those who know her.

Her day of redemption started like any other. One more day of loneliness. Her path, intersected by the One who gave her breath. Who knew?

 An encounter with the Lord is wholistic by nature. The Ancient of Days summons our past, present and future ~ in chorus.

Old meets new.

Mercy and grace ~ kiss.

She thirsted for attention. The arms a man, or two, would surely satisfy this need. The ugly irony – she lived with the consequences of her decisions – while her need for love went unmet.

Until the day she drew water – at noon – alone. The One who’d loved her since the foundation of the world met her at the well. Jesus engaged her. He took the initiative ~ she responded.

Her soul felt true love for the first time. Her insatiable thirst ~ satisfied.

{I love her response most of all}

She ran to town – leaving her pail behind!

 In her own words, “He told me everything I ever did.” John 4:39

They came in droves to meet this Savior. Her wholehearted response was contagious.

 His words, “Whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water, welling up to eternal life.” John 4:13-14

My story: I met this Savior many years ago. He told me everything I’d ever done. I felt love beyond my wildest dreams. I left my pail full of plans and ran to tell everyone who would listen. My life – changed for eternity. My past, present and future ~ redeemed.

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Desperate Giveaway!

by Debi on January 11, 2013

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I believe in this book and the mission behind it. There is a movement of the Holy Spirit, igniting older mothers to impart to younger mothers. This book is a product of 2 moms, young and old, from two very different worlds, working together to encourage moms around the world. Our children depend on us to be ‘up’ for the high calling of mothering. The world around us devalues motherhood at every level. I find myself on both sides of the motherhood fence. With a large family, I still have younger children (our youngest just turned 10) while part of our nest is ‘empty’ with our 5 oldest out of our home. I’m honored to be a part of this movement and count it a privilege to pass on what’s most dear to my heart. My life work has been mothering and will be until I’m finished on this earth. There is no greater calling, but none so rich in investment. It takes our heart and soul to raise the next generation. I think we’re all willing to give – but need perspective and encouragement from those who’ve gone before.

That’s why I’m giving this book away on Monday at midnight! That’s only 3 days to enter. Why the rush? I want to get this amazing book in your hands right away. Enter in one to 5 easy ways – if you enter 5 times – this increases your chances!

1} Leave a comment here – Introducing your family – telling the names and ages of your children ~

2} ‘Like’ Desperate on Facebook leave a comment here telling me so ~

3} If you have a blog – add a Desperate button to encourage other moms they are NOT ALONE – comment here telling me so ~

4} Tweet about Desperate!  - comment back here ~

5} Pin about Desperate on Pinterest! – comment back here~

The winner will be chosen by random generator at midnight Monday and announced Tuesday morning!

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The Best and Worst of Times

by Debi on January 6, 2013

Life seems to run on a parallel. This side of heaven we get a mixture of pleasure and the undesirable. Hence the redeeming work of the gospel kneads its way into our soul and spores into our surroundings – evoking change from within.

This holiday season was just that for me and my family – mostly for me.

The Thanksgiving dishes were hardly put away when Victoria and I boarded a plane for Cochabamba, Bolivia to visit the orphanage at Casa de Amor.  This long anticipated trip was finally happening! Our 10 day adventure can not be described in a blog post. To touch what God is doing in the lives of the least privileged leaves one without description. We’re so thankful to the Lord for this opportunity and hope to return, with friends!

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Our plane descended upon Dallas/Ft Worth and a blanket of Christmas lights welcomed us. Our first glimpse of Christmas! The warmth of the season was tangible.

We returned to our Christmas-clad home with only a few aches and pains that sleep would surely solve. Victoria nursed a toothache we hoped would go away.

We were hosting a large party in our home, along with our neighbors across the street, for our speech and debate club. Just a few more details needed to be placed on the house for the finishing touches. Christmas celebration was in the air! I climbed onto my wobbly kitchen extended stool to place that last wreath way up on the outside window – the one that sits above the retaining wall.

The stool gave way and I found myself in a heap on the grass moaning for help. Our kids doctored me up and pain killers did their magic. The party went on and our sons pulled it off beautifully! Upon closer examination my foot was broken – really broken. After doctor’s visits and scans, surgery was scheduled for the day after Christmas.

Meanwhile, we had a holiday to plan!

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Victoria’s mysterious tooth ache landed her in the oral surgeon’s office for wisdom teeth extraction. Two days after her surgery she came down with the flu – the bad kind. I hobbled around the doctor’s office getting her meds and tucked our sweet baby girl in bed to rest. Amos was my chauffeur on duty 24/7.

We had a Christmas/family vacation planned and nothing was going to hold us back! Two days later we packed up the vehicles and loaded a trailer with the overflow. We arrived at the lovely cabin-like lodge in the Texas Hill Country overlooking the Llano River. Our oldest son, Barnabas and his wife, Justin had a fresh Christmas tree decorated waiting for our arrival. Over the next 4 days, the guys deer hunted every day and Justin helped prepare meals. All 13 of us enjoyed our temporary home in the country. We had no TV or internet. In the evenings we played games and roasted marshmallows. Meanwhile, the flu made its ugly trek from Victoria to Malachi who laid in bed most of our trip.

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Christmas Eve brought us all home to prepare for our traditional gathering and everyone was well! We ordered dinner out {just for this year} but we still ate on china – it’s tradition!  We opened new pajamas and watched White Christmas on the big screen. {the living room wall – via projector} The evening was everything holidays are made of. Josiah’s flight from NY finally made it and we savored our time together. The evening was christened with a cold front. Everything felt like Christmas.

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Christmas morning the kids made our usual Christmas breakfast and served with it with flare. Plates were heaped with fresh berries, eggs, biscuits and bacon. Rich coffee and orange juice topped it off. As the morning progressed snow began to fall.  Snow flurries turned into real flakes and In Dallas this was surreal. We were giddy with the novelty of a White Christmas! Priscilla and her fiance, David, joined us. Our traditional Christmas play and gift giving for our clan takes a loooooong time. Watching the kids give to one another was a delight! The day ended with full hearts. So thankful for our time together. Since I couldn’t get up and hustle around the house – I had a perfect view by the fire and plenty of time to soak in the day.

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The next day came with the sobering reality of surgery. Priscilla took me for a pedicure and a few moments together before the inevitable. Once home and secured in our bedroom, my sweet husband fell fast asleep. The vicious flu bug had done its work and he was down for the count. In the days that followed other family members succumbed to the flu one by one. I tried to keep clear of the germs while holding fast to healing. But sickness is no respecter of persons. In the end – we only had 2 survivors – Amos and Joel avoided the flu.

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We nursed one another back to health and spent a tremendous amount of family time together. The fireplace roared without ceasing. Hannah and her family were in New York visiting her in-laws – she put out a plea over Facebook for meals. Our sweet friends have supplied us with meals on a nightly basis. What a ministry of love and healing!

Life begins to return to the new normal tomorrow. I won’t be walking without crutches or driving for a few more weeks and physical therapy is in my future.

This holiday season will go down in Chapman history as most memorable – for all the right reasons. Our hearts are full. The goodness of God is so evident in our lives. We’re thankful for our times together and have come to expect a mixture of the difficult and the spectacular.

 While others are strategizing for 2013 – I’m just glad to be here.

 

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Be Encouraged

by Debi on January 2, 2013

Dear Moms – As we venture into a new calendar year we all carry hopes and dreams mingled with regrets and unanswered questions. Sometimes the will to continue begins to wane. The world around us gives us permission to be weak and forgo the most precious of all roles in the history of mankind – motherhood. Family members may not be supportive and our own bodies struggle to keep up with the plans we’ve made.

Where does a mother find firm footing and resolve?

There is a movement of older mothers reaching back and imparting courage to the moms who will go after us. This is why I write. Please take a moment and view this inspiring video from my dear friend, Sally Clarkson. This is not an advertisement – but a reminder that all of heaven is on your side as you give your lives to raise the next generation. Be encouraged.

One Mom Heart to Another – Sally Clarkson from Allan Spiers on Vimeo


“Motherhood is not just about meeting basic needs. God crafted motherhood to give women the opportunity to be warriors of righteousness in the battle of life. Women are intelligent and spiritual creatures who are capable of transforming history through building godly generations.” Sally Clarkson – I Take Joy
 

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Asked of God

by Debi on December 31, 2012

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New Year’s Eve brings a flashback – 11 years ago.

Five months pregnant with our 11th child, preparing for a New Year’s Eve Party at our house. Something felt wrong – in my body. Truth is, I’d felt it for some time. I knew the subtle symptoms of life slipping away from within my own body and hoped to God that I was wrong.

Tim left work and whisked me to the doctor. The busy little boy we were awaiting had fallen asleep. Only his lifeless body remained and my lifeless soul felt a cry that reached the heavens.

“I didn’t want to end this way!”, I reminded God of my prayer – or was it a demand? My 20 years of birthing babies seemed to end in a thud. Like a car wreck on your way to the future. But who am I to require exemption from my Creator? Isn’t even He, ‘well acquainted with grief’? 

Sent home to wait on death to makes its fateful journey out of my body. I knew the medical routine – we’d lost another baby boy half-way through my pregnancy. I would need to wait and let my body absorb the extra fluid and see if I would go into labor on my own. The waiting could last for days.

Riding home in silence, Tim asked if I needed anything. I would be down to recover while our house full of life bounded forward – my body would mourn this loss. “The kids need warm pajamas.” We stopped to buy our standard cotton pajamas for the boys – it was finally getting cold in North Texas.

The day was surreal. We told the kids – cried together, and made plans of how we would get through the birth and recovery while taking care of the little ones. Everyone handled the pain differently. Some retreated to their rooms with music, others were aghast with questions – most just wanted to be near me – and me with them. Tim went into his ‘chaplain’ mode and made sure every detail was covered.

Friends brought dinner and we had our own, private gathering to mark the ringing in of the new and passing of the old.

My inability to create life or sustain it reminded me of my frame – I felt small. At the mercy of God who gives and takes away,  yet deserves my praise and trust. Who befuddles the mind and satisfies the thirsty.

As a family we gave this child a ‘heavenly name’ – Nathan –  which means, ‘God has given’.

Laying in bed after that long day – sleep eluded me. No kicks in my belly – just an eerie stillness. My mind rushed back and forth and my heart did its dance of anxiety. Throwing the covers off, I sat up in the dark. “This child didn’t have a name!” As his lifeless body lay deep within by belly I felt a rush of guilt. We hadn’t settled on a name, a real name for this little boy.

I threw my robe on and landed at the dining room table with my Bible. I asked the Lord to show me – He knew! “If this child had lived, what would his name have been?” I think God can handle hypothetical questions. Our sons have drawn their names straight from the Bible – Barnabas, Levi, Josiah, Amos, Malachi, Joel and Micah.

Dragging my finger down the fragile page of my oversized Bible. ‘Habakkuk?’ – no, ‘Nahum?’ – no, ‘Hosea?’ – no … tracing up the page I scoured the major prophets, ‘Isaiah?’ – no.  ’Samuel’ – a name I’d never considered suddenly sounded familiar. Samuel? I grabbed my name book  - it means ‘Asked  - of – God’. Something leaped in my spirit. His name would have been Samuel. Hypothetical or not, this quieted my mind and satisfied my need to know.

This name was personal to our journey. After our son, Micah, was born my doctor gave us his professional opinion – no more children. Something about the 5 cesareans and a ‘tired uterus’, plus my age. ”Unless you have a word from the Lord, then I will go there with you”, he assured us with a knowing look.  We wanted to give God another chance to create life. We asked the Lord for this child – specifically.

The funeral came and went with friends everywhere. Men in suits, ladies with babies, young and old – when we arrived at the graveyard I thought a large burial was taking place near our spot. Tim smiled and said, ”Debi, theses are our friends, they’re all here for us”.  It seemed bitter and sweet at the same time.  I wanted out of this bad dream, yet the urge to sit at the little, blue casket and savor the moments overtook my need to run away.

Now 11 years have passed and every New Year’s Eve I relive the day that rerouted my life. We tell the story to our kids to remind them of God’s faithfulness. We count the two sons we have in heaven as our own – even though life is never our own.

We did have a Samuel. One year later, a healthy baby boy joined our family. He turns 10 this week! Samuel is the delight of our lives. Ask him what his name means and he will tell you with a smile, “asked of God’.

Samuel’s story reminds me of God’s redemptive work. We all experience loss – it’s built into the process of living. Yet, our Lord is faithful in spite of our pain.

In 2013 may we all know the redeeming hand of our Creator in a fresh, new way.

‘Oh for grace to trust Him more.’

 
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Come Follow Me

by Debi on December 29, 2012

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My goal in blogging is to help encourage moms along the way and mentor younger moms who needs a boost. I write here at Above & Beyond but more of daily life is captured over Social Media where I open the doors to our home and invite you into our lives. You’re not alone in this journey of mothering and I hope my blog and networking helps you to remember that. Plus, I have so many wonderful friends you can learn from and connect with too.  These methods of connecting serve different purposes – if time permits for you – come follow me!

I live life out loud on Facebook  {Debi.Chap}

Give links and tips on Twitter {@mother211}

Post glimpses of family life on Instagram {Debi_Chap}

And create boards of my liking from education to clothing, recipes and more on Pinterest  {Debi Chapman}

I also blog about love of country at Raising Patriots

Our youngest is 9 years old, so I have more flexible time than I’ve ever known as a mother. If you don’t utilize Social Media – no pressure. Please leave me a comment and we can connect right here!

May the Lord show Himself strong to you and your family in the New Year.

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Grace and Peace ~ in Christ.

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No-Bake Cookies

by Debi on December 15, 2012

These cookies are sitting on our kitchen counter – as I write this.Victoria made a fresh batch this afternoon. Our family doesn’t have a holiday gathering without them. It’s tradition!

My Grandmother Best {Ma-Maw} would make a hot batch of these ‘No-Bake- Cookies’ and have them waiting in her cookie jar when we arrived for the holidays. My big, extended family has passed this recipe on to 3 generations now.

I’m passing this prized recipe off to you with a warning – you can hardly eat just one. I hope you enjoy them as much as we do.

‘Ma-Maw’s’ No-Bake Cookies

  • 2 cups sugar
  • 1/2 cup cocoa
  • 1 stick margarine
  • 1/2 cup evaporated milk
  • 2 1/2 cups ‘quick’ oats
  • 1/2 cup peanut butter (creamy)
  • 1 tsp vanilla
      1. Mix peanut butter and oatmeal in large bowl.
      2. Combine margarine, milk, cocoa, sugar and vanilla in medium pan. Boil for 3 minutes (exact!) over medium heat, stirring constantly. {until mixture makes a ball when dropped into water}
      3. As soon as cocoa mixture is complete – pour over oatmeal mixture and mix. (quickly!)
      4. Spoon out onto wax paper – (while hot)
      5. Makes approximately 20 cookies {pictured are 1 batch}

 

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If We Build – They Will Come

by Debi on November 30, 2012

Tomorrow marks the first day of December and the Christmas season begins in full fashion.

Building traditions takes purpose and perseverance. But is it worth the effort?

Passing on our most precious faith through the holidays helps our families build for the future. These days create memories that will last a lifetime.

Please follow me today as I write at Sally Clarkson’s Mom Heart network.

‘Oh for grace to trust Him more.’

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Crowned

by Debi on November 25, 2012

He who follows righteousness and mercy, finds life, righteousness, and honor. Proverbs 21:21 

Mothering has brought me face-to-face with my weaknesses. This journey of love and devotion often led me to a dead-end road where I found myself back where I’d started – bewildered and disappointed – in myself. There were so many days when I purposed to do better – to BE better. My kids deserved more than I could offer.

KINDNESS – that’s what I needed: To be more genuine, less self-absorbed, more concerned for their well-being and less pitiful in my devotion.

In Jewish culture they call this ‘chasing chesed’. Chesed is the Hebrew word for ‘loving-kindness’. Though, not an exact translation because no ONE word in our language adequately describes the kindness of God. The type of kindness that follows us, all the days of our lives.

This revelation changed my life.

The kindness I desperately needed to offer my family was offered TO me at the cross. This bankrupt soul did not have the emotional resources needed to raise a family and I knew it!

I have been freely given grace and mercy in my time of need. So, I have the privilege and joy to pass these gifts on to those around me. I am the recipient of the treasures and riches of Christ! This realization changed everything. I felt like royalty in my own home.

There are still days when I feel like a pauper – then I remind myself to:

 

 Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits:
 Who forgives all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases,
 Who redeems your life from destruction,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies
 Psalm 103

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Thanksgiving

by Debi on November 21, 2012

 

As I count my blessings – I count you in.

Thank you for reading and subscribing to Above & Beyond.

I purpose to serve-up the best of family life in the real world.

May your Thanksgiving feast be peppered with kindness and salted with grace, may the Lord show Himself strong in family dynamics and may He grant you your heart’s greatest dreams and desires. Hebrews 11:32+

Thank you for your patience as I struggle to balance writing about family life while living the dream in our own home. Our growing family is in constant transition with 6 of our children living at home, 3 single and out on their own and 2 married with families of their own.

We’re all on our journey of faithfulness and striving to leave a legacy of faith – footprints for those who walk after us to follow. May God be praised in your midst and every burden be shared on this day of Thanks-Giving. Grace and peace in Christ our Lord.

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