“Selfishness is one of the principal fruits of the corruption of human nature; and it is obvious that selfishness disposes us to over-rate our good qualities, and to overlook or extenuate our defects.”
― William Wilberforce, Real Christianity
As a new mom – the first-hand observation of sin nature was a wake-up call for me. I had head knowledge, conviction and plenty of personal experience in this area. But I was taken back – by the inborn drive in our first, precious, little son, to make the wrong choices. Tim and I had worked so hard to convert our fifties-style, compact house into a safe haven. Soon I realized our innocent, little one would choose to put himself in harms way, in spite of our efforts. How could this be?
My euphoric world of motherhood was rudely interrupted each time a young child of ours chose to go after the world around him or her rather than abide in the loving environment provided for them. My educated paradigm said, “Giving choices will surely prove the answer”. So, I rooted for them to choose life - surely they would.
Why would a toddler choose to tear apart a plant rather than play with toys? Throw delicious food on the ground, rather than enjoy it? Play with the remote rather than – just about anything?! Run the other direction at the sound of my voice?
Why wouldn’t our love and protection be enough?
I was short-cutting God’s plan to hope my children would not need the mercy and grace of our Savior in the same way that I do. If cooperating with life’s plan was doable, then our little ones would not need to be rescued from themselves.
I drastically changed my battle plan. As more children were born, we anticipated the crossroads each little person would come to and stepped up to help guide them in the way they should go. We discussed this at home with our older ones. {One benefit of a large family – you get to put into practice what you’ve learned.} As a family we worked with each new child to help them make the best choices and I required them to cooperate when everything in them protested!
Little rules like:
- No snack until you have a ‘happy face’
- We’ll play your favorite music once your buckle into your car seat without complaint
- A surprise snack or toy because you cooperated so well in the grocery cart! {not a bribe}
Patience was rewarded along with a good attitude. Whining and tantrums became the rare exception and I did my best to make sure these behaviors were not reinforced. I wanted my kids to learn how it feels to enjoy delayed gratification. Wait for the best.
The disciplines of life will keep and prosper them.
Ironically, I got what I once thought would come naturally. Content, grateful children who cooperated with the world we provided for them and were ready to meet the real world in due time. But there was nothing natural about this process of mercy, grace and tough love.
‘The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23
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So needed to read this! Had a day of wrong choices from my 20 month old yesterday. Crazy how our nature is truly sinful. Praying that Father God shows me how to parent like Him with endless patience and unconditional love. Thanks!